Top 10 Tips for Disciplining Children with Challenging Behaviour

When it comes to teaching and parenting, one of the most talked about topics is discipline and behaviour. Most of us expect children to behave in certain ways – with respect, listen and respond appropriately, have infrequent tantrums, etc. Getting children to behave in these ways is not always easy. Even though a lot of children respond to our unique ways of disciplining, a few of them may display more challenging behaviours that are persistent and could seem uncontrollable – from theirs and your point of view. Below is a list of strategies and tips that has worked for me in schools and different settings over the years.

(It may be usefult for you to read Understanding Children’s Behaviour as well)

10. Know what the triggers are – Every behaviour is triggered by something. Find out what it is.

Potential triggers:

• Medical diagnosis  (Autism, ADHD, etc.)- Please note that I am not saying that having a diagnosis is an excuse or a ticket to behave badly. What I am saying is that a diagnosis provides a signpost on what interventions you could use.
• Medication – some kids on Ritalin could become hyperactive as the medication wears off
• Sensory Stimuli such as noise, certain smells, bright or dim lighting, temperature– Some children are very sensitive to sensory stimuli and tend to react in unconventional ways when they encounter an unbearable one. If they are not able to communicate this discomfort through words, they may act out.
• Change in routine (substitute teacher/Teaching Assistant, cancelled or swapped classes)- This is not specific to children with Autism. I have encountered children with no diagnoses who were unsettled by changes in routine.
• Home life- problems and/ or changes at home
• Bullying– It is worth investigating whether your student in question is being bullied by others when you are not looking. Not all children will report bullying.
• Relationship with classmates– Investigate their relationships with other children. Are they getting enough attention, and if so, what kind of attention are they getting? If they are not getting any attention, make sure that you find out why.

9. Find out what the student’s receptive and expressive language skills are.

A lot of our behaviours are forms of communication. If children are not able to verbally express what they are feeling (see above), there is an increased chance that they would ‘act it out’. This can also happen if they do not understand what the others are telling them. Some children struggle to read body language, understand people’s tone of voice and/ or metaphors. If this is the case, you can organise for them to have lessons wherein you or other professional(s) will explicitly teach them these things.

8. Give them chances to succeed.

Give small targets that are achievable by the students. Set them up to succeed. For example, instead of asking them to ‘be quiet inside the classroom at all times’, you could start by asking them to ‘try to be quiet during carpet times’ (Primary school) or ‘try to be quiet when the teacher is talking’.

7. Give praise that is specific, well-explained and well-earned.

Never give blanket praises such as ‘good job’, ‘excellent’, ‘well done’, unless they are followed by a brief explanation of why you said what you said. Let them know why and which part of their work is amazing. You could say for example: ‘well done for colouring within the lines’ instead of ‘good work’.

6. Approach them positively.

Try not to shout and try not to be negative. Humour definitely helps. If the children understand figures of speech and metaphors, sarcasm can be an excellent tool. I found that students of any age are more likely to listen and change their behaviour if I approach them positively.

5. Tell them what to do instead of what not to do.

There are a lot of research that suggests that if you tell someone to ‘not play on the stairs’, they would. This is because what registered in that person’s brain is ‘play on the stairs’. Even though some children will hear you loud and clear, chances are, they will not know what to do instead of the undesirable behaviour. Quite a lot of teachers always tell students ‘not to fight’, but a lot of these children may only know one way to behave. If this is the case, how can they behave appropriately if you are not telling them what tappropriate behaviour is?

4. Be consistent.

You should be firm and fair all the time. Punishments and rewards should be handed out consistently – not only when you feel like it.

3. Remember that behaviour can be changed.

The whole point of your efforts trying to make your students behave appropriately relies on your belief about behaviours and attitudes. If you believe that we were born with a set of attitudes that make us behave in a certain way which cannot be changed, you need to think again. Although genetics play a part in the development of our attitudes and behaviours, the people around us and our experiences also have big contributions. We should keep in mind that everyone is capable of changing, especially our students.

2. Communicate effectively with the children’s parents/ primary carers.

For any intervention to work, the children’s school and home should work in concert with each other. Although it may be a good start, it shouldn’t be enough that your students behave really well in school but throws tantrums and go wild at home (or vice versa). Having an effective professional relationship with your students’ parents/ carers is one of the most important factors in helping children behave appropriately. Regular communications through phone calls, emails, face-to-face meetings will help increase the likelihood that interventions will be carried out in both settings.

1. Set an example.

Kids will follow and copy your actions. If you practice what you preach, then you have won half the battle. Always remember that your students are far brighter than you think. They will start ignoring your advice and you will lose their respect if you do not walk your talk. Here are a few examples you can set:

• Admit your mistakes publicly. You will make a mistake today- trust me. When you do, do not be ashamed to admit it.
• Apologise to your students. When you make mistakes, say sorry. Explicitly let them know that even you can make mistakes, but your apology and subsequent actions are what matters most.
• Respect your colleagues. Never say anything bad about your co-teachers, no matter what. Students notice how you treat other people and indirectly learn from your example.

Other bonus tips:

Get To Know Your Students Better

Positive Words and Phrases to Use in School

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Autism Costs Higher than Cancer and Heart Disease

Autism is a neurodevelopmental condition that affects individuals’ physical behaviour, communication and social skills. Recent figures published by Autistica stated that the UK spends £32bn a year, which is higher than heart disease (£12bn) and heart disease (£8bn). This £32 billion is a calculated fugure based on what is spent on treatment, care and support, as well as people’s loss of income as a result of being on the spectrum and/ or living with someone who has Autism. Autistica’s report also highlighted the importance of developing better interventions that are effective in order to make better use of resources that are scarce.

It should be pointed out that the figures have also revealed that there is very little money spent on Autism research compared to care. On average, only a mere £180 is spent on research for every £1 million spent on care. That is £6.60 per person spent on research. This clearly needs to change as effective interventions should be developed and evaluated as latest figures show that over 600,000 people in the UK have Autism.

Why ‘Learning Styles’ Theories Should not be applied in the classroom

Educational practice is littered with myths that have permeated over the years and have not gone away. A particular example that is evident in most countries is the habit of wrongly identifying the differences between students- ‘right-brained’ or left-brained; ‘global’ or ‘holistic’; ‘visual’-, ‘auditory’- or ‘kinaesthetic’-learners. The latter is what this article will focus on as it has been found that there is a poor application of this Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic learning styles (VAK) theory, particularly in the UK. The Times Educational Supplement (2005) found that the UK’s Department of Education over-emphasise the importance of the VAK model in classrooms and that schools need to provide evidence of using a multitude of ways of teaching to accommodate students’ learning styles.

A BRIEF BACKGROUND ON VAK

The idea that individuals are either visual, auditory or kinaesthetic learners is probably familiar to most educators and students. This theory suggests that despite our ability to be able to receive information through different senses, we have a preference, i.e. some people prefer seeing, some like hearing, while some prefer kinaesthesia (the sensation that tells us where our bodies are). When learning anything new, visual learners prefer diagrams, drawings or printed words. Auditory learners prefer to hear songs or descriptions or anything they can listen to. Kinaesthetic learners on the other hand like to hold and use objects and/ or move their bodies.

FACTS AND WHAT THE FACTS?!?

It has long been established that people differ in their visual and auditory memory abilities. Our brains can store what something looks like and what they sound like. When asked to describe the physical properties of our sofa or bed, we tend to use our visual memory to recall what they look like and what they are made of. But when asked who the better singer is between Bruno Mars or John legend, we tend to use our auditory memory to recall how each of them sings. The difference between one person to the next is the amount of detail each of their memories are able to hold. Some people’s brains are able to store detailed and vivid visual and/ or auditory information, while some cannot.

I should also point out that our memories are not solely visual and auditory. We also remember meanings. Just recall the recent story you have read or heard. You may not remember it word for word, but I am certain that you will remember its meaning. In other words, meaning has a ‘life’ of its own.

PROBLEMS WITH VAK

The whole of learning styles studies and practice (not just VAK) lack theoretical underpinning which can reliably explain the whole discipline and its claims (Hay & Kinchin, 2006). While the differences between people’s auditory and visual memory abilities and capacities are very well supported in academic literature, they do not support the VAK theory. I must remind you that the theory’s key assumption is that individuals will learn better when the instruction and/ or information is presented in a way that matches their cognitive style. For instance, imagine two fictitious students Bob and Sam. Let us pretend that Bob is a visual learner and Sam is an auditory learner. Imagine also that I gave both of them two sets of new words and their corresponding definitions to learn- one presented as a written list whilst the other was a presented through a voice recorder that the students have to listen to. The theory suggests that Bob would learn the first list better than Sam and that the opposite would be true for the second list.

Hundreds of similar studies have been conducted and have found what the theory predicted, which is that students like Bob learned the first list better than students like Sam. However, I would claim that tests (and results) such as the one described do not support the theory simply because they do not test auditory and visual memories. One should note that even though the information is presented through auditory and visual media, what’s being tested is the meaning of the words. Using visual and auditory memories purely will not help anyone to recall meanings of words.

I must acknowledge that there are some lessons and topics wherein students must depend on either visual or auditory memories. For instance, visual memory is used to memorise how shapes look like while auditory memory is used to store and recall what a guitar sounds like. However, the vast majority of learning relies on students’ ability to learn, store and recall meaning, as well as sights, feelings and sounds.

ASSESSMENTS- another big problem

While it is all very well (to some extent) that schools encourage teachers to teach students in a variety of ways based on their learning styles or memory use, they are still assessed in the same old way. Everybody gets assessed in the same way. In most cases, students are given the exact same test papers or practicals.

DOES THIS MEAN THAT THE VAK THEORY IS SLIGHTLY RIGHT?

NO. We must acknowledge that proponents of the VAK theory claim that the same material should be presented in different ways to ensure that each student’s preferred style is matched. For instance, when learning about a country’s map, teachers should present visual learners with a printed map and written descriptions of it, while the auditory learners should listen to an audio recording of someone verbally describing the features of the map. Kinaesthetic learners on the other hand could be asked to create a model of the map. While this approach may work when learning a map, I assume (and know from experience) that this would not work in guitar lessons.

I agree with Coffield et al. (2009) when they condemned champions of ‘learning styles’ theories for pigeon-holing students unnecessarily using unreliable and poorly validated tests. I have witnessed experienced teachers administer VAK questionnaires to unsuspecting secondary and primary-school students and then labelled them using the results they have collated. I am also aware that some schools send teachers on a one-off ‘learning-styles’ training day. This is problematic as one-day trainings are insufficient to learn and critique any theory. Also, some of them are forced to apply these poorly tested theories by their head teachers despite their reluctance to do so.

WHY DOES IT SEEM SO RIGHT EVEN IF IT IS WRONG?

Most teachers and educational professionals believe that this theory is correct and here’s why I think that is:

• It has become common wisdom– i.e. everybody believes it, therefore it must be true.
• It is true that we all differ in visual and auditory memories. One may suggest that the child who is able to draw a building accurately after seeing it only a few times is a visual learner, whereas in fact, she has a better-than-average visual memory. Having a great visual memory is NOT the same as being a visual learner.

• Confirmation bias– we unconsciously interpret situations as being consistent with our beliefs.

USING DIFFERENT ‘STYLES’

Hodgkinson and Saddler-Smith (2003) have shown through research that it is possible for the same students to use different learning styles in different situations and lessons. They have also shown that it is possible for students to learn and strengthen their use of their non-preferred learning style in order to counter-balance their preferences.

SO WHAT NOW?

I believe that the way forward is to abandon most people’s unsupported beliefs about learning styles. The theories have not been supported by research and practical applications. However, I would still urge teachers to be creative and present information in different modalities- not to suit anybody’s learning styles, but in order to promote attention and engagement. We should know that any change in routine will catch us out. If a teacher has been talking for 25 minutes, chances are that most of the students in the class will get bored and lose their concentration. Putting on a video or getting them to do an activity that requires kinaesthesia would be a welcome change. Also, instead of individualising the required mental processes for each student, I urge teachers to let all of your students to practise learning and retaining information using different modalities or ‘styles’.

Lastly, although this point is almost out of teachers’ hands, students’ attainment should come from a multitude of assessment techniques and not only pen and paper ones. I must admit that this has been happening for a good few years now but I feel that more should be done.

ONE LAST THING…

In my opinion, the learning styles myth and the way it has spread highlights the growing concern in teachers’ knowledge of up-to-date research findings. Fresh graduates are often well equipped with the latest research findings and new exciting ways of teaching. But some (including Coffield, 2014 and I) have observed that the longer some teachers have been in their profession, the lesser they know about recent publications. It is important to keep up with the research in order to refresh one’s approach. It is also likely that what we know now may not be supported by research that will be conducted in the future. I would also add that it is not enough to read textbooks as most of what is written in one will be about 2 years old. Peer-reviewed journal articles are always the best source of information. In contrast to books, published peer-reviewed journals are carefully scrutinized and approved by a group academics and researchers.

Surrounded By Mirrors

Wake up tired, wake up wired

Wake up sad,wake up happy

No matter as each day

I must always be tougher

 

Tens of souls, twenty eyes

Twenty ears, they hear all lies

See your grace, hear your cries

I’m an example for their lives

 

These angels know your walk

They copy even the way you talk

Such a responsibility

Such a privilege

 

I’m surrounded by mirrors

The kind with inquisitive brains

Mold them I must

As this ain’t no game

____________________________

Inspired by today’s Daily Prompt

PINGBACKS:

audreyhepburnbooks

compassquill

pippakinclawz

idleandbored

thinkingdiagonally

justvisitingtheplanetblog

mylifeisyoga

theshotgungirls

callmekeira

allthingscuteandbeautiful

geekergosum

angloswiss-chronicles

janesdailypost

grieflessons

mindfuldigressions

suestrifles

jandelaforce

Weekly Photo Challenge: Twist

Adding a modern twist to teaching the alphabet:

 

Pingbacks:

DailyPost

Queenie

Hadorable

Sarazancotti

Cardinal Guzman

Whymatters

Stephen Chapman

Sometimes Teachers Just Need To Shut Up

Teachers are not only there for the academic side of things. They also serve as counselors, peace-maker and sometimes, therapists. You know what I mean. Students at some point will have concerns and worries about their friends and families. These worries are often carried into the classroom and would sometimes translate to bad behaviour or social withdrawal.

When students misbehave, most teachers resort to shouting and/ or punishment. Often, this results in escalation of the situation and a vicious cycle of bad behaviour – teachers shouting – suspension. It does not help. Granted that bad behaviour is never acceptable and should not be tolerated, aggressive responses may not help in the long run.

On the other hand, the usual response by a teacher to a student who is upset or has opened up about their problems is to shower them with advice. While this is good in some cases, giving advice may not work for others.

For both situations, what I suggest is for the teacher to ask the students what their problems are or what’s bothering them. Even though bad behaviour is a regular occurrence for some pupils, try to remember that these behaviours could be the result of something deeper- a family problem or a problem with their friends, for instance. Try to keep an open mind.

Be quiet and listen to what they have to say. Keep in mind that some of them may not have people around them who would listen to them whole-heartedly. Some of them may just need to off-load.

Try not to pass judgement too quickly. Assess the situation and offer advice only when needed. Seek help from authorities and other agencies in appropriate situations.

First Sight

 

Whether a person, a pet, an object or a place, write about something or someone you connected with from the very first second

– The Daily Post

“There may be no other relationship that affects us more profoundly, and that is harder, sweeter, sadder, more filled with joy or fraught with woe than our relationship with our brothers and sisters.”

–Jeff Kluger

I was 10 when my life changed for the better. My sister was born. I thought to myself, ‘wow, now I have to get my act together because this little person will be looking up to me’. I suddenly had a responsibility. I suddenly became a role-model. Most of all, I suddenly have someone to love unconditionally, take care of, and mold to become better than me.

My sister’s birth coincided with the time when I finally started to mature emotionally and mentally. Although I was only 10 years old at that time, I began to seek independence in my own little ways. I also began to take on a little bit of a responsibility at home. This is probably why I felt like I have to be an even more responsible human being when my sister was born, despite having both of our parents’ love, support and guidance.

Through the years, my sister and I grew closer and closer to each other. We compete against each other- especially in academics (she’s shattering my family records at the moment, to my annoyance), we argue, laugh and cry. We stand up for each other and try our hardest to become a better person each day by following each other’s example. I am also proud to say that despite our differences and the trials that life has thrown at us, we have never fought each other. I do not recall having fallen out with her.

It is such a great feeling to know that someone is always going to be there for me, as much as I will be there for her. I have taught her a few things over the years (which include crossing the road), but she has taught me how to be responsible. She gave me my first opportunity to prove to myself  and others that I can be better, and that I can teach explicitly and implicitly through my actions. This gave me the confidence to pursue my dreams and to stand up  each day in front of students in the classroom.

I am grateful to my little sister for everything that she has done for me.

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Other First Sights:

Sue’s Triffles

Chronicles of an Anglo-Swiss

Prairie’s Views

The girl who thinks an awful lot

From hiding to blogging

Nana’s got a blog

Thoughts, imaginations and words

The zombies ate my brain

Easter Ellen

Dieting sucks blog

Owl and Scribe

Meandered Wanderings

 

Peppa Pig’s ‘The Bing Bong Song’: My Theme Song For This Week

Those of you who have been following my blog for quite some time will know that I spend most of my time in schools with children and young people with Autsim Spectrum Conditions (ASC). This week is no exception. I have spent most of this week with a child who is obsessed with Peppa Pig. I figured that I have to utilise this obsession and use Peppa Pig games and videos as rewards for good work and good behaviour.

My plan worked fantastically! My new little friend has developed a liking for his one-to-one time with me because I was strict but fair. My expectations and rules did not change for the whole week, but my rewards were also consistent- one ‘decent’ piece of work equals 10 minutes of ‘choice time’. I gave my student a choice between playing an iPad game or watching any Peppa Pig Youtube clip. For the whole week, he always opted for the second option. In addition, he always chose the same video- Peppa Pig’s The Bing Bong Song. As a result, this song has been stuck in my head and I have been singing it on repeat since Wednesday afternoon.

Here it is:

Isn’t it catchy?

This is why I love my job. It keeps me young!

😉

Last But Not Least… Dad (Daily Prompt)

In your imaginary award acceptance speech, who’s the very last – and most important – person you thank?

–The Daily Post

 

I genuinely do not know what award I am going to get, but I have been writing and re-writing my acceptance speech since I was about 16. All it includes is a list of people I want to thank. Those people inspired me, criticized me, helped me, challenged me and motivated me. Everyone who had a positive impact in my life – both directly and indirectly – are included. Although I have actually never thought of putting them into a particular order, until I have read today’s Daily Prompt.

As mentioned, a lot of people have helped me throughout the way. But if I were to choose the person who has been (and is still) the most important to me, I would have to choose my dad.

My dad taught me everything from riding a bike to driving a car. I had my first biking accident with my dad, causing multiple CT scans, EEGs and other rather forgettable procedures. I have also damaged a couple of our family’s car, painfully learning that I am NOT Michael Schummacher. Dad also taught me how to be disciplined in school, sports and in life. He taught me when to fight back and when to hold back. He taught me about the importance of maintaining friends, but keeping our family as our first priority. Dad fought for our family from the beginning. He showed me just how much he loved all of us by sacrificing everything, and I mean everything that he has.

My dad has also been an example of how NOT to do things. His friends told me that he was never a great student in school – skipping classes and concentrating on how to impress girls (much more than I did). He does not have a degree because he married young. However, that did not stop him from providing for us. He and mum struggled to put food on our tables. But they did not quit. That’s where I got my toughness from. I saw my dad work hard for us. He instilled in me the belief that one of the only ways to get out of our situation is through my studies. I saw how difficult it was for him because he did not have any decent qualifications. But again, that did not stop him from encouraging me to study. Day after day he told me that I can do it. Even when I did not believe in myself, he carried on praising me and my efforts. 

Even up to this day he continues to inspire me. He has not stopped being a father and I do not think he ever will. I am grateful for everything that he has done for me throughout my life. I know I cannot choose who my parents will be, but if I were given the choice, I will choose him (and my mother) again and again and again.

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In response to today’s Daily Prompt: Last But Not Least

More entries:

Journeyman

The Jittery Goat

Sue’s Trifles

She Writes

Martha Ann Kennedy

Psychologist Mimi

(Daily Post) Pick Me Up: “Thank You”

What is the one word or phrase that immediately cheers you up as soon as you hear it?

The Daily Post

Hearing the words “THANK YOU” from others means a lot to me and it makes me happy. It shows that others have noticed me and were grateful for my actions and/ or words. It’s even better when I least expect it.

“Thank you” is also nice to hear coming out of my own mouth. I try my best to appreciate and explicitly express my gratitude to everyone who has done or said something nice to me. As much as it makes me feel positive by saying these words, I also like seeing other people’s faces ‘light up’ when they hear me say it.
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In response to the Daily Prompt: Pick Me Up

Here are others’ entries:
The Landslide Photography
Abozdar
Think Architect
Aimanpeer
PGHlesbian